Laugh and Snore
by tigerlily101
Summary: "Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Snore, and you sleep alone." Little RoyEd oneshot. Oh, and I don't own anything.


"Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Snore, and you sleep alone." -Anthony Burgess

Roy jerked awake. Unsure as to what woke him, he stayed still; and almost jumped out of his skin when the most monstrous sound he had ever heard came from the right side of his bed. Was that… Edward?

He looked at his newly consummated lover who slept peacefully on his back, with his toned chest showing above the covers that were pulled up to his waist. Edward and he had been boyfriends for nine months already and tonight Roy decided to take their relationship one step further. After hours of passionate lovemaking they had passed out into a blissful sleep. Now, not two hours later, if he read the clock correctly, he had been woken up by the atrocious snoring coming from his right. Or more specifically, from a short, blonde, alchemist.

Roy groaned and slipped his pillow over his ears, hoping to block it out. No use. It was still there, loud and clear. He sat up and looked at the man he loved dearly. Just not dearly enough to endure this hell.

"Ed!" He whispered in a hiss, trying to wake him up. No use. "Ed!" He tried again, louder than before. Still no luck. "Edward! Goddammit! Wake up!" He nearly shouted. Ed merely snorted and rolled onto his side.

Roy could feel it now. His eyebrow twitched, a clear sign of his frustration. He grabbed his lover by the shoulders and started to shake him back and forth wildly. "Eeeeeeeddddddd!" He practically whined. Finally Ed's eyes cracked open and he muttered a sleepy "Whazz you wan, Bastard?"

Roy opened his mouth to start ranting at him when he heard it again. The atrocious snoring. Ed had fallen back to sleep before Roy could even get a word out. 'That's it!' He thought in exasperation. He dropped Ed back onto the bed, none too gently, and grabbed his pillow. Even if it was going to kill his neck and back in the morning, he was going to sleep on the couch. Where, hopefully, he wouldn't hear Ed's snores.

He trudged out into the living room and flopped exhaustively onto his black leather couch. Ed had insisted that they, meaning Roy, buy it, for unknown reasons (Probably because Ed had a leather fetish). It was too uncomfortable for his own tastes.

Roy squirmed on the couch, trying to find a comfy position to sleep in. He even fluffed his pillow out. Nothing worked! Could his situation get any worse? Then he heard it again. A loud snore making it's way through the thin walls. He cursed himself for his bad luck. It wasn't as loud as it had been in the bedroom, but it was still loud enough to keep him from falling asleep.

Roy groaned almost giving up and doing paperwork for the rest of the night. He paused for a second; thought about it then- Ha! Who was he kidding? As if he would do paperwork of his own freewill without Hawkeye pointing the barrel of a gun at his head.

He sighed and got up off the couch. Grabbing his pillow by the corner he walked around his small house, looking for a place where the telltale signs of his lover's sleep couldn't reach. After traveling most of his house and not finding a place quiet enough he stopped at his front door.

With a start he realized that he couldn't hear it anymore. The snoring, which had been present ever since he woke up, was too far away to be heard! He sighed contentedly and dropped his pillow onto the floor, his body following soon after to fall into a heap near the door. In minutes he had slipped into a peaceful and _quiet_ slumber.

#O#

Roy awoke suddenly to a harsh jab in his ribs. He groaned in pain and curled his body into itself. "What're you doing sleeping on the ground out here, Bastard?" Edward grumbled blearily.

"Well if you didn't snore so loud I would be happily in my bed sleeping." Roy replied. Annoyance lacing his words. Edward squawked in indignant denial. "I don't snore at all!" Roy smirked at him as if to say 'Oh really?' Ed pouted and crossed his arms. Suddenly his demeanor became more serious. And in a calm voice almost too quiet to be heard he asked "Just don't leave me to sleep alone, okay?"

Roy smiled, remembering why he loved his little spit-fire. "Yeah, I won't ever leave you alone."

#O#

_**So I hope you like this. It's my first RoyEd fic and I hope I did good. I can't ask my family how I did because they don't watch FMA and well… it's yaoi. So I'll just ask all you great people on Fanfiction to tell me how I did :)**_


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